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Libbey has four children, ages 9 to 15 years. He remembers his own childhood as very lonely. "My parents were basically absent, and when they were around, they ignored their kids," he says. "My father never showed any emotion except anger--he was very demanding and everything had to be his way or no way. As I look at it now, he never considered my feelings or needs. With my kids, I'm trying to be more aware of their emotional needs. As Mrs. Crowley says, they're little people, and you need to pay attention to what you show them."

Libbey's children visit him in prison, and he enjoys reading to them, playing games, drawing and doing crafts. By participating in the program, he's realized that he never kisses his 15-year-old son, and he is contemplating how that lack of affection might make his son feel.

Chris Harrison, 25, is serving one to three years for driving violations. He has a boyish, open face and clear blue eyes. He has lost 100 pounds in prison, and is both perceptive and well spoken. His 3-year-old daughter visits him regularly, and while the program is making a difference in helping them maintain a relationship with each other, he believes that it has taught him the most about himself, a lesson that seems to have become part of his parenting. "My mother was raised in a strict home, so when I came along, she did the exact opposite," he explains. "I was basically free to experience childhood, and I had no discipline or boundaries. I've learned that children need boundaries to feel safe and protected."

Perly Laraway is also 25, and is serving one to three years for second-degree assault and criminal mischief. He and Harrison have known each other since they were 10, when they both started in the corrections system. Laraway has a body builder's physique, and in the past his physical strength was a particular source of pride. He has two children, a 14-month-old daughter and a 4-year-old son. So far, his children's caregivers have not agreed to bring them for visits.

One of Laraway's earliest memories is of sitting on his father's lap, steering the family truck home from a friend's house because his dad was too drunk to drive. "Alcohol totally ruined my family," he says. "I remember never wanting to be home. My dad was a nasty drunk and I hated him for treating me the way he did. He used to wake me up and accuse me of trying to kill my mother because she almost died when I was born."

Laraway, who inherited his father's addiction to alcohol, says that he is useless when he drinks. But he also says that he is sick of being an irresponsible dad. He is working on his GED and hopes to pursue a career in hotel and lodging management when he gets out of prison. He sends cards to his kids every week.

Libbey says the visits from his children help take the sting out of the separation. "You don't realize how much you love your kids until you can't see them every day," he says.

Like Libbey, Laraway credits the program with helping him manage his anger. And, like others in the program, with giving him a goal of becoming a better person once he's "outside" again.

"I've learned how to communicate better when I get angry," says Laraway. "For a long time, my source of pride was being able to fight. I was good at it. But if I keep drinking and fighting, I'm either going to be dead or locked up. My kids are my inspiration now." ~

Anne Downey '95G is a freelance writer who lives in Eliot, Maine. She received her Ph.D. in English from UNH.

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